How are you??

Hey, How are you??” What will you reply to this innocent question? Your answer will be, I am Fine! or simply, I’m ok! or will you really come out with the real actual answer.

We always give the same reply “I’m Fine” because I think it’s a heavy question with a rote answer. The reply is actually a lie. If  you ask me the same question “How are you?” my reply will be “Fine“. Even on the days I am not Fine. On the days when the pain is unbearable. On days when I ask questions like “what if”. On days I am not feeling good enough.

Sometimes when someone who is close to you asks the same question, you try not to respond in the usual fashion, but something inside you holds it back. In actual, we hide our current feelings with words which sounds as if we are the most happiest person. And I also feel like its hard to open up when you are uncomfortable with something which is not letting the actual feelings to flow.

There are two strong reason why we give the default response to the question.

One reason is because fine has become the quick generic response to the question, “How are you today?”  But how are you really doing?  Are you truly “all right” as the definition of fine implies?

It has become a tag line for our lives “I’m fine”.  For most people, when someone asks them how they are, they don’t give it much thought and simply reply with the fastest, easiest answer.  This is what they are also doing in their lives as well.

The other reason we may be using those words is to hide how we are truly feeling. When we say, “I’m fine” we may not want to burden the other person or we may just not want to deal with the feelings ourselves.

If you are not wanting to deal with your own emotions, it’s time to stop being a victim. It’s time to stop hiding in the sand. The sooner you step into what you are truly feeling, the faster you can step out of those feelings! I know its not a easy thing to do.

It’s time to shake it up! Stop saying you are fine, now come up with what you’re really feeling.


34 thoughts on “How are you??

    1. Maybe you don’t want to come out with the truth because you feel like no one will understand you. And I agree you don’t need to open up to everybody. But its important to express what you are feeling inside to people whom you believe in.

      Liked by 2 people

  1. most people are insecure. They form so many scenarios in their mind and those scenarios haunt them. Instead of asking how can they get rid of this feeling, they just bottle it up and never say anything. In the end, they explode will all those feelings and in the process, they got hurt and they hurt everyone around them.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I agree. Spot on. Overthinking something doesn’t do good. And keeping all within will hurt one sooner or later. And it seriously hurts others as well. Again, a very good point, Shriya. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Sometimes, I feel that the person who is asking “how are you?” may just be saying it out of habit. Might be something else to think about — when you ask “how are you?”, are you truly interested in hearing about how they’re feeling?

    Liked by 4 people

    1. I agree. Mostly it is formality stuff, at workplace it definitely is.
      But in personal, I mean it when I ask my friends or family. 😊

      So, how are you? Speak your heart out.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. If I ever actually answered how I feel.,,how I’m doing, it could be a real bummer. To spare the person inquiring, of course I lie. Who wants to hear about being constipated or thatt I’m retaining water like a reservoir? I lie to spare another human from repulsion or boredom. Besides, isn’t the inquiry, “how are you?” just an conversation starter. And nothing more?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. For most, it is just a conversation starter. But for few, very few, it is a real question. They will sense you reply of “fine” being mere a reply, and recheck.. it is for you to open up and let yourself out.

      Hope you’re doing good, Laurie! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. And the answer is so common, I am fine, doing great! even if everything is so normal and mundane. But you’re right. 🙂


  4. I love this concept. I think we should be able to express at any moment exactly how we are feeling. My other thoughts is that we say that we are fine because we have experienced a time when we did share our true thoughts and someone did not receive them well. 😔

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I agree with you. But remember those who really would sense some issue in you will ask you ‘How are you?’ second time even if you respond ‘you’re fine’ at first. So, some people will care about you, it will be up-to you to open up to them or not.

      Thanks for putting words, Kristin. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

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    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hey June, hope you’re doing great!
      Thank you.. glad you found them good.

      I am happy to see you blogging again, after years, as if you have resurrected. Will explore more at your end.

      Thanks for spending your time on this blog. 🙂


  6. It can be difficult to really express sadness, and many other words that make us feel life we failed one another, I am currently feeling this myself, I get caught up with arguing and we both use words to hurt one another, this behavior seems to be repeating and now I have found that our words have actually now starting to really hinder one another, he has pulled away, so have I, and for a 22 year Relationship, well, it can be extremely sad and hurtful. When I would rather be loving and happier with him.. yet it doesn’t seem to be working very well… and I feel that it might break or has already broken beyond repair.. and that just gutters me to watch this fall apart..

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Maybe you need to talk this out. Tell them how you feel and what could be done.
      You don’t cut the thread with a knot that can be untangled.
      Maybe, it looks like it will get over but 22 years is a long yard, there has been a a beautiful reason to stay.. why not to talk and try to walk extra mile.

      I hope you’re well. I hope it is better now. Take care!! 😊

      Liked by 1 person

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